1) Welcome everything. Push away nothing.
In welcoming everything, we don’t have to like all that’s arising. It is not a submissive’s job to approve or not. It is our task to trust, to listen and to pay careful attention to the changing experience. At the deepest level, we are being asking to cultivate a fearless receptivity.
* This is a journey of continuous discovery *
We will always be entering new territory.
We have no idea how it will turn out.
It takes trust, courage and flexibility. We find a balance.
* The journey is a mystery we need to live in, opening, risking and giving constantly *
2) Bring your whole self to the experience.
We must be open to both our joy and fears.
In service, we draw on our strength and helplessness, our wounds and passion. Exploration of our own suffering enables us to be of real assistance. That is what allows us to touch our Dominant’s needs and inner being with love and desire instead of with fear. We have to invite it all in.
We cannot travel with others in territory that we haven’t explored ourselves.
It is self exploration of our own inner life that enables us to form an empathetic bridge to our Dominant.
3) Don’t wait
Patience is different to waiting. When we wait, we are full of expectations. When we are waiting, we sometimes miss what that moment in time has to offer.
Worrying about what the future holds, we miss the opportunities that are right in front of us.
Waiting for the perfect moment, we miss so many so many moment of living. Don’t wait.
If you have something to tell your Dominant, tell them!
4) Find a place to rest in the middle of things
It is possible to rest in the middle of chaos.
When we bring our full attention without distraction, to an activity, a moment in time, to a scene, or we are embracing ourselves in the moment, a place of rest becomes available.
Be comfortable in yourself and with your Dominant, so that you can realise your safe space.
5) Cultivate ‘I don’t know’ mind
This describes a mind that is open and receptive. A mind that is not limited by agendas, roles and expectations.
The Zen teacher, Suzuki Roshi said,
“in the beginners mind there are many possibilities, but in experts there are few”
Not knowing is okay and admitting so only drawers you and your Dominant closer.
Understanding this, we stay very close to the experience allowing the situation itself to inform our actions. We learn to look with fresh eyes as our minds clear to accept all from our Dominant.