Lifestyle · submission

Sub drop

This is something that is often mentioned yet not so clearly defined or explained.

Sub drop:
“The temporary depression and/or chemical dis-balance experienced by submissive/masochists after intense BDSM play. This can be short lived or can be a delayed reaction, and/or can last as long as a week… If You are the Dominant or Top in the situation it is Your responsibility to see your play partner through this period of chemical dis-balance and or depression and make sure they are safe, sane and healthy.” (Urban Dictionary)

In my personal experience, this has not always been associated solely with intense BDSM play. It can happen after any session with Sir and I, as it can for anyone within a Dom/sub dynamic.
Many seem to forget that true Dominants can experience the same thing within themselves. This is known less commonly as Dom drop or Top drop.

To try and give a clearer explanation, during any session O/our bodies go through a series of emotions and the endorphins and adrenaline levels are raised. From the anticipated time together, to the physical raw release with each other.
Afterwards, all the endorphins and adrenaline are still raised, which is why Aftercare is so important. Taking time to care for each other, be that close contact, cuddles, conversation, comforting items and so forth, depending on your situation.

Sub drop is when the chemical balance has settled down again and we try to recompose ourselves. This can happen quickly, within minutes or hours. Sometimes it takes days.

To give a personal example, Sir and I had a session together after a period of weeks apart and it wasn’t a particularly harsh BDSM session but it was long overdue and emotions and endorphins were definitely running high the following morning. However, due to circumstances beyond Our control, Sir needed to leave sooner than expected.
It wasn’t until a couple days after that I felt sub drop. Totally unexpectedly as well, considering I fully understand the reason for Sir’s need to leave at the time. Initially, I didn’t realise I was heading towards sub drop. I put it down to crashing back to reality with a bump. Boy, was I wrong!
It felt like a cloud came over me and I was feeling low, anti social and all I wanted was to be in Sir’s embrace. Not just for my own comfort but to also know that Sir was ok. I couldn’t put my finger on why I was experiencing it to begin with either and then it hit me… Sir and I had to forgo most of Our usual Aftercare routine that particular time.

After having to spoken to Sir about it, the cloud began to lift and I could see beyond again. To find the energy to keep calm and carry on. To take the time to recompose and be kind to myself. To continue with my usual routines and look forward to Our next time together.

In the throes of sub drop, it is difficult to think clearly but one thing to hold on to is that you are not alone, however difficult it may be to realise at the time.
Keep lines of communication open and be kind to yourselves. If you need to curl up and comfort eat, soak in a bath, crank up the favourite playlist or do whatever works to help lift your spirits, then afford yourself the time to do so. After all, a happy content submissive means a happy and content Dominant and vice versa.

What carries me through, every time, is the knowledge that my Sir has not gone anywhere and His love and support is ever present and for this, I am forever humbled and grateful. Thank You Sir xxx

3 thoughts on “Sub drop

  1. I have experienced sub drop a number of times, and my Sir’s words are always the best comfort to me during these times…as well as getting a bite to eat and drinking some water. Usually I experience sub drop directly after and intense scene, but I think there have been a few times where it is more delayed. There have been at least two occasions where my Sir has realized that he is experiencing Dom Drop and was feeling completely depleted. Good job bringing attention to this very important topic!


    1. Thank you naughty nora and it’s so great to read you have the support of your Sir also. Dom drop is very much as real as sub drop, so we offer similar support when required.
      I like to think of Sir and I akin to Yin Yang; Two halves of one whole xx

      Liked by 1 person

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