Lifestyle · Thoughts

Rollercoaster

To quote a well known song: “Life is a rollercoaster, just gotta ride it!”

This past month has been one of the longest, bumpiest rollercoasters I have known in a long time. With many ups and downs, twists and turns and the feelings going on have been like a barrage from a watergun at the bottom of a log flume and I’m not the one laid in the hospital bed!!

Sir has now been incapacitated for over a month and undergone some surgery to begin repair of His badly broken tibula, fibia and femur with pins and a frame to immobilise and stabilise the bones again. With the requirement for more surgery in the coming weeks on His knee also so it is going to be a long painful process.

As I am sure some of you can imagine, the pain and agony has been excruciating. Not just physically for Sir. There has been many a time where I have wished I could do more, speak to someone, get someone to do something more, get back out there and be there with Sir, and yet I have had to accept that there really is nothing I can do from here. Being i have a young family and am in the UK and Sir is in France where He now resides.

I spent the first few weeks going around my own head with ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ but in hindsight it didn’t serve any purpose beyond making myself feel worse and draining both Sir and I. We both know if i could, i would !! Unfortunately circumstances do not allow Us such freedom and this We knew before Sir moved away and took some time for me to realise and remember in the blur of all the frustration, stress and initial upset of the whole situation, even though We are in contact daily and Sir keeps me updated as best He can. Soon as I remembered that even though I cannot physically be there to help and assist Sir, I am there with Sir in spirit and soul as my Collar reminds me on a daily basis. I am with Sir as He is with me as I am His pixie, the ‘easier’ it became to cope and realise my role has not changed. Merely adapting to new circumstances and I felt myself calm and regain focus upon the bigger picture.

Whilst Sir remains in hospital for the next few weeks, I remain patiently His pixie who will support, care, hope and help as best as I can in whatever way He requires of me, however I can. Never has anything been asked of me that I cannot do or cope with. In view of the bigger picture, this is another hurdle along the journey. A hell of one mind you, but one that reminds, reassures, reiterates and reinforces Our commitment to each other as Dom/submissive, Sir/pixie.

Sending Sir love and best wishes for competent surgeons and nurses, less pain and a full recovery in the not too distant future xxxxxx

Yours, as always Sir, pixie xxxxxxx

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