My personality has always been one to please and help others, to help them through my actions or experiences to improve themselves or their situation, to the best of my ability if at all possible without much regard for myself. I always put others before myself.
Finding pleasure for myself, by pleasing and fulfilling the needs of others has always been within me. I stepped away from a lot of people along the way because this side of me was taken advantage of and taken for granted by some, which in turn hurt me. However, seeing someone flourish and/or be happy because of something I have done or helped with in some way, fills me with joy and sometimes pride when things turn out for the better for them. Having someone feel the same towards me has been so hard to find and even acknowledge, but to have someone proud to call me ‘His’ or ‘Mine’ had been a distant dream for a long time.
Giving any form of submission to a Dominant, for me, would have to be someone whom I could trust firstly before I give my all – to open up to in all honesty, all closets open and skeletons faced without fear or judgement or pain, but to acknowledge pains and previous experiences as part of a journey towards the person I am becoming and to learn new things about myself, my desires, to explore new and sometimes scary paths. No longer someone who can be downtrodden, abused, taken for granted or scared to step out… but someone who can be accepted for who they are – warts, past, fears, negatives and positives altogether.
To move towards a more positive place within myself. To accept being someone who has an inner nature to be cherished, nurtures, cared for and loved whilst doing the same in return for someone, is actually not a bad thing or a weakness. Far from it! More a strength and a gift to give someone else so much access to your inner self. They hold the power the to hurt, the key is trusting that they will not!!
Both Dominant and submissive benefit from the relationship as the Dom receives and nurtures the gift that is His submissives’ submission, servitude and devotion, whilst the sub gives her all and is free to be herself in a safe and secure place that feels like home, where her needs and wants are fulfilled. Whilst both are cherished, loved and nurturing each other as well as accepting and discovering more about themselves, as the dynamic develops in all its glory and strength.
I gained a balance in my life, an understanding of what I need to become the woman I wanted to be and the support and encouragement from someone willing to guide me, cherish and support me, however tough the experiences. My Sir became a strength when I was weak or faltering, self doubting even. He still stands strong and remains a constant whilst I continue on the journey of self discovery, soul searching and ultimately putting Sir above all others whilst not forgetting myself and the duty i have as Sir’s submissive in my servitude and loyalty to Him.
This is not a journey I walk lightly or assume to take for granted nor do I consider it ‘easy’ – far from it! To have someone trust me enough to show me their inner demons, as well as help me through mine, is another gift to be nurtured and cherished. It is not for the feint-hearted – trust, loyalty, honesty, respect, patience, kindness, hope, perseverence are all facets of commitment that is crucial to D/s and if you are lucky to find the blessing of love, embrace it! The journey is epic and the rewards far outweigh any negatives or worries you might fear or experience along the way.
Every journey begins with the first step. Are you ready to take looks and look inside yourself?
What are your wants/desires? Who are you?
Could Dom/sub be that ‘something’ missing?