After many months of chatting, it was decided that I would indeed take the biggest leap of faith I thought possible, at the time, and I gave myself over to Sir to use as He saw fit. At that moment in time, I was still very unsure whether being a submissive was something I could do and enjoy so there was no pressure. Everything was at my pace, many many conversations had transpired between Us and it was agreed that Sir would allow me the chance to experience for myself, what it could be like as a submissive to Him.
My past had a tendency to rear its head and haunt me. I had many fears and scars which had all been laid bare in brutal honesty and openness with Sir so as He could know who I am and what might work between Us and what might well be too much for me to handle. Without the conversations about my past abuse and giving details, Sir would not have such a clear understanding of me or where my head was at any given time.
With this all in mind, Sir took control and slowly introduced me to a whole new side of sexual pleasure that I had only ever dared dream about. My eyes were less averted, more open and alert. My mind began running scenarios around and I found myself daydreaming of a myriad of ways to give pleasure, receive pleasure and they varied for plain vanilla to down right kinks galore. It was as if something had been awakened inside of me that was yearning to break out.
The day came for me to go to Sir’s and it was met with a storm of mixed emotions. From excitement to nerves, to fear of the unknown, even to the cold feet which was outweighed by my desire to know more. How does one know if one never tries??
My head was also full of questions as to could I ? Would I ? What if…?
All the while knowing that Sir not only appreciated and understood my circumstances, but that anything would be done with great care and consideration. After all, what use is someone who is pushed so far they break?
Sir didn’t want me to wait on ceremony or perform any particular submissive tasks, I was taken upstairs and given instructions as to what it was He wanted from me and was also reminded that it is always my choice. I had a safeword, should I choose to use it, if the need arose. Which it didn’t!
I was not degraded in any way, shape or form.
I was warmly welcomed and surprised at how at ease I felt in His presence.
The atmosphere was not heavy or overbearing, it was relaxed and yet still very much with Sir in control of the scene at hand.
It certainly didn’t take any second asking or instructions from Sir either.
I was ready, I was willing and eager to explore and see where this path could lead me.
The moment I felt Sir enter inside me, it was as if a part of me came to life.I felt a momentary pain which was soon replaced with an immense pleasure. A wave of relief as well as elation all at once and this was before either of Us had cum! This, in turn led me to relax and begin to enjoy both the experience and myself. To realise very quickly that not only is being instructed a hell of a turn on, that I have the choice to decide to agree to partake or not, but also that I am able to find pleasure and embrace it whilst pleasuring Sir and allowing my body to become a vessel of mutual pleasure.
My body ached when the scene was over and I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to lay in the solace and security of Sir’s arms as long as possible. To feel the connection that I have never had with anyone else before. It felt like I had come home and found my true self and it felt so damned good!