If there is one thing that my journey has taught me, it is that patience is a must!!
Patience with myself, patient with understanding and clarity to come, patience to hear from Sir and patience whilst apart from Sir, whilst wanting so badly to be in His presence and arms again.
Patience with myself is still very much a work in progress as I have a tendency to realise most with hindsight. Who I am, what it is I want for myself and from life. What it is that makes me happy, to realise when I am at my happiest or lowest and why. How I can achieve whatever it is I am striving for at any given moment in time and to wait for results or answers to become clear. How to get through or overcome a situation or circumstance. Why I am who I am even.
These are all questions and scenarios that I have patiently had to work through and some I continue to go through on a daily basis. The most poignant being who I am and what I want for myself. That became apparent as I learned more and more about Dominant/submissive dynamics and began spending more time discussing my findings and questions with Sir and deciding that even though I was ready to make the step into the D/s world and accept Sir’s Dominance and guidance, only I could find the answers as to who I was and why.
I was eager to know more about D/s and getting to know Sir was amazing. Sometimes my eagerness was also a hindrance as I made mistakes, wrong judgements even and most definitely learned some lessons the hard way. Some resulted in punishment at the hand of Sir, others were not deserving of punishment but merely required more patience and understanding. Waiting to understand something or to ‘finally get’ what was being asked of me has most definitely not been a strong point of mine.
My eagerness could have caused me to run before I could walk and without Sir’s guidance, I suspect that I would taken the run and fallen short, or flat on my face.
It didn’t take too long for me to begin to realise that eagerness is not too dissimilar to that of impatience.
As any true submissive would appreciate, patience in a submissive is not only an attribute most desirable and alluring but it is also a requirement as part of service to your Dominant.
Since the Covid-19 pandemic paralysed most countries across the globe, not only has it been difficult on a daily basis with my young family and husband at home on lock down but the ripple effect of such a situation. Patience is very much required and most definitely tested. Not just from the children and home life, but also the knock on affects on daily life. Routines are virtually non-existent, juggling several hats at once from mother to housewife, to teacher to referee.
All the time being consistent in my submission and service to Sir as best I can given the now limited communications and there are days when understanding and clarity doesn’t come as easily as it could.
This caused a mixture of emotions and thoughts, which came to the fore all at once and over time I began to realise that patience and focus would determine how I cope in my current circumstance and equip me in ‘coping’ techniques. Especially being apart from Sir and having to cancel plans whilst working out within myself how I am feeling and ways to cope in these uncertain times.
We are in contact as much as we possibly can be in the current circumstances, but the patience required whilst waiting to see Sir and be held in His arms again, is immense. The rewards far outweigh the hardship and difficulties felt or experiences during the wait.
Keep calm, focus and remember, good things come to those who wait 😉