From when I first met Sir to this present day, there are many times where having to wait is a necessity. Be that to wait on a response to a message, email, or a question that I have raised. The hardest part is having to wait to be physically with my Sir.
There have been so many ups and downs, peaks and troughs along the journey that it is amazing to recall, recount and take time out to reflect. Take cognisance of my surroundings, the environment and mindset I find myself in and where my personal journey has taken me to and is leading.
To recognise just how far I have actually come in my own self discovery.
‘Patience’ is a previous post of mine and it connects very well with this one also.
Learning to be patient with myself as well as others, has been a big learning curve as not everything can be learned quickly or immediately. Many things take time and patience, waiting and watching. Feeling and being. Sometimes experiences are required to aid understanding and waiting is often a major contributor towards furthering ones knowledge and understanding. After all, how can one know if we are not brave enough to try?
Learning to wait to hear from Sir in one form or another took some getting used to as we live in an age of instant messenger, emails, texts and technology at our fingertips. However, it is not always possible to get that immediate response or answer that perhaps I was looking for, for various reasons and therein lies the connection with patience.
On a few occasions, there have been times where I have had to wait due to others requiring Sir’s help, support, assistance, advice. We have been online together and others begin messaging Him, so there is a balancing act for Sir to maintain both conversations to a degree. This is where I have found that my head doesn’t necessarily ‘like’ waiting. My head starts up an argument wherein it asks why can’t they be the ones to wait for Sir to reply? Why do I have to be the one quietly in the wings? Who are they anyways?
Other times, Sir and I have had others join Us and again, I am usually the one waiting for Sir’s focus and attention, inclusion in the conversation or invitation to join in, if the liaison turned in to play. I enjoy watching Sir with others but it doesn’t stop the head wanting to be the one on the receiving end instead.
This is where a new mindset has had to be established and realised.
I am not, nor have I have ever been put to the side in favour of another. My simply being present and with Sir, as a part of His life as His submissive, is more important than anything and I am content and secure in that knowledge.
However, that is not always the case with Sir and I now being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). I have an unfortunate habit of over-thinking and allowing certain insecurities come to the fore on occasion, which proves testing at times. I am only human after all!
Once Sir and I have managed to discuss whatever it is that I am struggling with, be that limited communications, interrupted communications at times, or simply day to day struggles and home life. My head stops running away with itself and my thoughts begin to calm and the mist clears.
There is no such thing as a smooth, perfect relationship. Be that D/s or vanilla.
There are always ups and downs, times of need and times of waiting.
Our LDR is far from easy and it will continue to be a work in progress, with times of calm and content and times of frustration and impatience, yet We have each other as Sir/pixie.
It is important however to realise that we are all only human after all and everyone has struggles. Sometimes, life simply gets in the way of what we want but as Sir has taught me in more recent times, it is better to wait and have a clear goal to focus upon than let the head run riot and cause chaos and confusion, perhaps even frustrations. My focus, is being true to myself, staying healthy and well, both physically and emotionally and being the loyal, faithful submissive that Sir knows and loves me to be. After all, what good am I as Sir’s submissive if I have driven myself into the ground with stress or self-doubt. How can I serve Him to the best of my ability if I don’t believe in myself and understand that what and who I am is enough?
Keeping in mind the fact that not only was it my decision to serve Sir, it was also His decision to allow me and to take Ownership of me and Collar me as His. Holding on to this knowledge makes the waiting all worthwhile. However long or painful it may feel at times, ‘There’s no pain without gain’ as the saying goes and with Sir and I, We go from strength to strength with every hurdle that We encounter and there is always a way when you are willing.
With waiting being a large part of Our daily lives due to Our LDR, We have the added bonus of the amazing reunions when We are blessed with time together. The time We have together is amazing, focussed, emotional, powerful, strengthening, reaffirming, Sir/pixie and simply just Us, free to be Ourselves and enjoy each other completely.
With this is in mind, with waiting and patience, willing and able, Our reunions are Our rewards.