Self Awareness

A definition online which I find helpful:

Self-awareness involves being aware of different aspects of the self including traits, behaviors, and feelings. Essentially, it is a psychological state in which oneself becomes the focus of attention. (verywellmind.com)

Once upon a time, I would say that my focus upon myself and my own feelings would only happen during low/depressive episodes. Rarely did I call in to question my behaviour or even correlate the two. My judgement was often clouded by feelings of anger, upset, hurt or how I was the victim or circumstance. More often than not, I was overthinking and this in turn began a volatile cycle of negativity as oppose to seeing any positive aspects.

Over time, after a lot of conversations with Sir (and others), soul searching, researching and realising that my own personal mindset on a day to day basis affects both my mood and the image I portray to both myself and others. I finally began to turn a corner. From looking at just the negative to looking and finding the positives. Asking myself questions such as “What can I learn from this?” Or “What does the way I reacted, or not, say about me as a person?”

How I see myself, is reflected back in the mirror. How I feel about myself, is reflected by my actions and reactions. How I behave on a daily basis has an impact on not just my own state of mind, but of those around me. My behaviours have consequences, both good and bad. How people perceive me is also a reaction to my behaviour and traits.

We all have our quirks, our traits, our own identities. It is often what defines us and allows others a glimpse into the person whom we genuinely are. However, I would still advise caution… Not everyone is deserving to see the whole of oneself.

It was during a written assignment for Sir when the lights finally went on for me and I began to see myself for who I really am. What makes me tick, who/what am I ? What makes me happy and what do I want or need from life?

Those questions remain answered between Sir and myself but the one major breakthrough for myself, was that whilst I remain true to myself and am happy in my own decisions and choices. I am a reflection of Sir and Our trust and belief in each other has withstood many a storm.